How Poetry Helped Me Transition to Adulthood
Structure, format, and the intimidation of expectations.
Recently, I’ve discovered how poetry helped me transition to adulthood — and I didn’t even notice. Poetry defines everything in my life, and mirrored my trajectory into adulthood.
I was naturally drawn to Poetry from a young age. I didn’t read a lot of poetry, but I was writing a lot of it. It came to me naturally, as if my brain functioned in metaphors and mysteries already.
I was afraid to read poetry. Afraid that I would discover I was doing it wrong, and that my poetry wasn’t actually poetry.
The intimidation of format, structure, and pentameter paralyzed my passion each time I tried to deepen it. I couldn’t fit my poetry into any box, or specific structure. It left me afraid that I would never make progress.
This is a familiar story… It is exactly how I treated my life as I head towards “adulthood”.
Replacing the Muse
I knew I loved Poetry, but I couldn’t imagine pursuing a career in it at the time. The intimidation scared me away, and I shifted my focus onto Fiction writing. I knew poetry helped clear my thoughts, and thought fiction would serve me just as well.
Fiction was looser, and I didn’t feel as encumbered by requirements. Every time I wrote fiction, I relied heavily on metaphors. I enjoyed difficult topics being wrapped in correlated story-arch frame.
My fiction was secretly trying to be my poetry without guidelines.
Trying to Find the Passion
Fiction writing is a lot of fun. Though as I grew older, and closer to graduating High School, I drifted away from writing altogether.
The passion wasn’t holding me to the habit. I was trying to find my passion for poetry in the lines of prose. As life became busier, I stopped believing that my writing was a worthwhile way to spend time.
Of course, this misled belief proved to be disastrously untrue.
Without Writing, How Do You Handle Complex Emotions?
The above question was one I was trying to answer for a long time. There was no doubt poetry helped me handle increasingly complex emotions.
My writing — whether fiction, non-fiction or poetry — was keeping my feet on the ground. I had cultivated a process of letting my writing dissect complicated emotions.
I let these emotions explore and expand, before dissipating them into a story line or a stanza.
As I transitioned into adulthood, I transitioned away from writing. Sadly, this was the end of me processing complicated emotions. I had no other tools to do it, and I left mine behind.
Adulthood is Poetry
Sitting in front of this blank document, I was reminded of this trajectory in my writing. I had a natural talent. A natural affinity for Poetry was a gift — whether it looked like traditional poetry or not. Sadly, I never gave it the opportunity to become something bigger.
Instead, I focused on where I thought I’d have more chances at opportunity — only to lose it all when I lost my passion.
A trajectory running parallel to my trajectory into adulthood.
This side-stepping of passion became a windowed view to my transition into adulthood. How much have I given up for the sake of “ The Way Things Are Done “. I was passionate, excited, and ambitious… Until I tried fitting myself into the strict guidelines and structures of “Textbook Adulthood”.
I was passionate, excited, and ambitious… Until I tried fitting myself into the strict guidelines and structures of “Textbook Adulthood”.
I was trying desperately to fit myself within the routines and habits of successful adults. I wasn’t focused on my natural affinities. Instead, I was focused on what made others successful. I didn’t ask myself what would make me happy — I asked how I could replicate their success.
This focus on the structures of others is bound to make me lose the passion for my own interests. I have to express my own adulthood in my own structure. Once I get comfortable with that, I can start implementing lifestyle formatting.
It’s time to start writing my own poetry again…
Originally published at https://www.intakecreate.com on May 24, 2021.
